Piece of Life確實存在

I Need a JOB ...
I REALLY NEED A JOB...

After graduated few months...
I need to think clear what I am going to do...
Think clear of my career...
I can't just keep the part time tutor job...

Am I wanna be a REAL Teacher?
Then I needa study a Dip Ed...
Am I interested in mass media?
What kind of media field I would like to join...
Am I wanna more stable?
Be the civil servant?
Lots of Questions...

Oh god...
Where's my way of life...

Are you one of character of the tragedy?
Things are just bad to you?
How you deal with your darkness part...
How to face to your shadow...

People tend to think... things around just bad to him/her...
They are the unlucky one...
Because they are not good enough so they have to face that worst things...
or... that's life...
they can't change anything...
that's my tragedy...

Things really bad like that?

I don't know...
although I am not those who think they are tragedy queen...
but I also the one... sometime feel depress...
a strong depression... that make you hate yourself...

I read a book call "The Secret of the Shadow" by Debbie Fordwhat it said... I totally understand...
I known well of my shadow...
but i just can't help...
That's the worst part...
you know what happened to yourself but you can't change it...

Don't think I am a crepehanger...
no... I am not...

I keep move on my life in positive ways...

But the shadow keep follows......

Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."

Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."

Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."

Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."

Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."

Statement: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."

Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"

Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."

Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out sooner or later."

Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their way to tell you by now."

Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."

Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

Statement: "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."

Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"

Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."

Finally done...
My Chocolate cookies (with cranberry and cashew)

Waiting... they are in the oven...

Oh... first round...

My fresh product~

ha~ new try~
not too bad~
haha~

I find those photo in my DC memory card...

My frist try of Blueberry Muffin...

mu mother like my blueverry muffin so much...

My first try of Peach Pie...

but follow the recipe... I think is too sweet...
um... maybe... if I have time I should make my own recipe for it...

One of the chinese dessert...

Barbecue with lemon&honey sauce

I love to make that... but need more time to perpare...

Chinese Dishes...

Fried Noodles...

My mother always cook this for me when I was a kid...

Sweet and Sour Pork

so nice...

Sweet & Spicy Shrimp

Beside steam fish, shrimp is another seafood that won't too difficult to make...

Chicken...

Is my favorite dishes...

and now I am making Cookies~
hahaha

Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.

Why does a man like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.

How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.

What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.

Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.

This friday I met Mr. Bobby...
He came to my place...
picked me up and drove me around...
He is quite nice and a gentleman...
feel not bad to be with him...
at least...
I feel relax...
recently...
I just feel tried...

In his car...
with some soft music...
a little body massage...
I just want the time to stop a bit...

After that day I suddently found Mr. Tommy...
our relationship calmed down...
I am thinking of am I just too aggressive?
Suddently stand out of his building and said I wanna see you...
ok... maybe that day I a bit drunk...
but... I just wanna be friend...
not to scare him...

I didn't force him to do anything...
even didn't give a call any more...
I satisfied the "wanna see him" wish...
I won't step forward any more...

after the "calm down" period...
he finally called last night...
asked me, did I finish the book he gave me on that day...
Mr... the book give a easier opening for you...
then we start talk other...
asking how's the days recently...
anything new happened...
meet an new friends...

What do you wanna know sir...
frankly... there are lots of options...
I can meet lots of one if I want...
you know that... just normal date...
why you suddently change your way of speaking...
you don't want me to meet them?
you mind those little body touch?
you dun want there will be "kisses" happen?
finally... you wanna own me...?

But Mr. don't be too instrumentalism...
I am not the one you wanna call than call...
you wanna find and find...
and can satisfy your own needs...
like find someone to talk, those life sharing or even having sex...

Don't think that I feel good to you then I'll standby here...
I won't... and I don't needa do so...

that's the point

I didn't say no... is that mean I want it actually?
Didn't reject means give him a chance...
we still have chance...
I don't know...
but am I really don't know?
oh... I am not sure...

Mr. Ben ask for eating ice cream again...
We talked about many different ways to play...
but am I really wanna play with him?

After the first time...
if the feel not bad...
would like to have another time...
even more...
I understand that...

but...

are we goin' to be...

sex partner?